• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer

Stephen M. Miller

Award-Winning, Bestselling Christian Author

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
  • Blog Features
  • Bible
  • Contact
Painting/photo of Jerusalem Temple-Casual English Bible

Sometimes we can’t even speak the truth in love

Stephen M. Miller
Photo of man talking with woman
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Sometimes when we’re trying to be helpful, we’re wasting our breath. Criticism is something we don’t usually want to hear. So we stop listening. Photo by Eugene Kim, flickr, CC2.

LET’S SAY I think one of the humans running for the most important job on the planet is a self-serving, sociopathic, xenophobic, narcissist.

Or maybe I think the politician is someone who will lie, cheat, and steal—basically say anything or do just about anything to win an election. Even perhaps to go so far as to collude with party officials who are supposed to be equally supportive of the candidates—to cheat an old Jew out of a fair hearing on the national stage.

So I go to a dear friend or family member who intends to vote for that sorry soul and I say,

“You could not possibly show worse political acumen. If you vote for this person, I will no longer trust your judgment or ask for your advice about anything that requires thinking at a level beyond Level 1 of Bloom’s Taxonomy of the six levels of thinking. And you will probably go straight to hell in a hand basket.”

Okay, let’s say I only think that.

But let’s say I try to speak the truth in love: “I really do think this is a mistake you’re making. And I believe this person will hurt a lot of people. Could we talk about this?”

Well, we could talk. But I doubt anyone would listen.

I have plenty of family and friends who will not be voting the way I will be voting. And I don’t feel free to talk with hardly any of them about it.

It’s too bad. If ever there was a vote that needed serious discussion among the voters, this is that vote.

I know why we can’t talk about it.

I see the reason in the Bible.

Listen to what happened when Paul said something that a crowd of Jews took as personal criticism.

Paul, in a synagogue in what is now Turkey:

“We had to bring God’s message to you Jews first. But now that you’ve trashed it and condemned yourself as unfit for eternal life, we’re going to take God’s message to everyone but you—to non-Jews”…. Jews incited a riot” (Acts 13:46, 50, Casual English Bible).

Paul, in a synagogue in the city of Corinth, Greece:

“I did everything I could to help you. From now on, I’ll be helping the non-Jews”…. the Jews eventually got so upset with Paul that they rallied together and took him to court” (Acts 18:6, 12, Casual English Bible).

Paul to a mob of angry Jews in Jerusalem:

“Jesus said, ‘Go…. I’m sending you far away—to people who are not Jews’”…. That last line was more than the Jewish crowd wanted to hear. They started yelling, “Death! He doesn’t deserve to live!” (Acts 22:21-22, Casual English Bible).

Here’s my takeaway when it comes to criticizing others: Nobody and his brother want to hear it.

There are exceptions. But in my experience, they are few and far between.

Most folks seem to take criticism as a poke, when what they want desperately is a stroke.

Silence may be a wise and healthy compromise.

Still, sometimes people you care about are doing the dumbest thing on earth, and your head will explode if you don’t say something.

In those cases, maybe it would help if we said it with ice cream and a Snickers bar.

For more about criticism

  • How a Christian writer should handle complaints
  • Fine art of criticizing
  • Let’s pay someone a compliment today

Bible Gateway Blogger Grid

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...
View All Posts - Ordered by Most Recent First
« Previous
Next »

About Stephen M. Miller

STEPHEN M. MILLER is an award winning bestselling Christian author of easy-reading books about the Bible and Christianity and author of the Casual English Bible® paraphrase. His books have sold over two million copies and include The Complete Guide to the Bible and Who’s and Where’s Where in the Bible.

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sidebar

Casual English Bible Website

Featured Book

Complete Guide to the Bible

Complete Guide to the Bible
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Books-A-Million
Buy from Christian Book Distributor
Buy from Google Play

Latest Posts

  • I do one thing better than God May 27, 2025
  • When our faith glitches May 5, 2025
  • Job is the right book for me now April 16, 2025

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog Features
  • Books
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

  • YouTube
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

Copyright © 2025 · Stephen M. Miller · All Rights Reserved

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use. To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
Reject AllAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT
%d