• Skip to main content
  • Skip to header right navigation
  • Skip to site footer

Stephen M. Miller

Award-Winning, Bestselling Christian Author

  • Home
  • About
  • Books
  • Blog Features
  • Bible
  • Contact
Painting/photo of Jerusalem Temple-Casual English Bible

Goodbye pastor: view from the pew

Stephen M. Miller
Pastor in church
LET’S PRAY. My pastor, Molly Simpson, wraps up her tearful, chin-up sermon with a prayer. I snapped this shot from the second row, sitting behind her brother and sister-in-law—and her mom and dad who are seated to the right of this photo.

BAD NEWS. My pastor is leaving.

It could be worse.

I could be her dad.

He and her ma live here in the greater metro area.

Pastor Molly Simpson is moving to another state. She’s taking her husband and two pre-school-age children with her.

Not grandma. Not grandpa.

Not uncle. Not aunt.

Not me.

Not any of the “me’s” who fill our church.

  • People who have worked alongside her. On the Honduras mission trip she told us to pray for people at the clinic if we felt comfortable doing so. I don’t think she knows it, but I peeked after she snapped a picture of me praying for a lady and her kids. I saw Molly turn and walk away, wiping her eyes.
  • People who know a little about her spirit. One of her biggest worries as a pastor has been that she would disappoint people. She doesn’t want to let anyone down. Maybe our congregation should use that against her: convince her that we’re all disappointed she’s leaving. We could call the campaign: Save Pastor Molly.
  • People who have seen her grow as a preacher. She preaches in the shadow of one of the best preachers in the country, in my opinion. She hasn’t gotten to preach very often. This is a multi-campus church that usually gets its sermon by video from the main campus. On the other hand, she has learned preaching from the best. She’s the better for it.

She preached a tearful sermon on Sunday. A sermon for hurting souls.

I sat in the second row. Sitting in the first row, directly in front of me: her dad, her mom, her brother, her sister-in-law.

It seemed to me that her mom was trying hard not to cry.

Before the service started, I gave her a hug and said, “I feel your pain.”

“Not to the extent,” she said. Her eyes filled. She tried to fan the wetness away with her hands.

“I know,” I said.

As Molly began speaking, her mom and dad wiped their eyes time and again…from sermon start to sermon finish.

Something like a wet sponge seemed to fill inside my chest.

I ached for Molly’s mom and dad, for I count them among my friends.

I ached for Molly, because I knew she was hurting.

I ached for myself, because I love Molly and have been proud to have called her my pastor.

Listen to me.

Already speaking in past tense, as though my campaign to Save Pastor Molly will never get anywhere.

There was a moment in the sermon when Molly lost her composure.

I don’t remember what she said. I just remember her collapsing face.

She looked over at her family. Just a glance. That’s all it took.

She must have seen the row of painful faces. If her eyes carried her back into the second row, she got more of the same.

Molly’s husband is a minister, too.

He had put his career on hold for the past eight years while his wife led a campus plant that has grown into a congregation of about 800 souls meeting each Sunday, with around 2,200 souls worshiping with us on Easter.

Now, Molly’s husband will minister to the youth of a distant church, while Molly gives her ministry career a sabbatical to nurture her daughter and son at home.

Molly says she found it too hard to be a mom and a full-time minister working 60 hours or more a week.

I spoke to her boss before the worship service on Sunday.

I said I’d have cut her a deal, to reduce her workload.

Boss Lady, a gentle spirit, said they did, adding, “We’re like that.”

Here’s the thing—which is magnified for ministers like Molly, who hate to disappoint people: our expectations of a pastor are unrealistic.

We expect too much. So someone is always disappointed. And our pastors know that.

Let’s say Molly is on a rigidly reduced schedule of, perhaps, 30 hours a week. A crisis comes. We expect her to show her face in overtime. When she doesn’t, we’re disappointed.

She knows it.

She feels it. And it hurts.

I remember when a friend of mine got sick and the pastoral staff didn’t make it to the hospital in time pray him into surgery. So I prayed him there, moments before they wheeled him away.

Heck, I thought, the staff is the staff, but we’re the church. We ought to be doing more of that stuff anyhow.

Perhaps if we did…. Ah, I don’t know.

I do know this. If I were a pastor, I’d rather have people sad to see me go than relieved to see me go.

– – –

I imagine Molly helped pick the closing song on Sunday.

Chris Tomlin wrote the lyrics:

Greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this city.

Maybe so.

But I’d feel more confident about that if we could…

Save Pastor Molly.

PS: For those wondering, I did get Molly’s gracious approval to post this blog. In the email I told her, “It’s not too late. Change your mind.” She said she knows, but “I’m not changing my mind unless God tells me to.”

Note to God: Tell her to.

Share this:

  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest

Like this:

Like Loading...
View All Posts - Ordered by Most Recent First
« Previous
Next »

About Stephen M. Miller

STEPHEN M. MILLER is an award winning bestselling Christian author of easy-reading books about the Bible and Christianity and author of the Casual English Bible® paraphrase. His books have sold over two million copies and include The Complete Guide to the Bible and Who’s and Where’s Where in the Bible.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sally Skulski

    April 30, 2013 at 6:21 am

    very nice article, Steve. Tim and I have worshiped at Rez West a few times since moving to this side of the city and we really enjoyed Molly. She will be greatly missed in the COR family. As a lifelong Methodist, this is something you must get used to, as the general conferences move their clergy around just when you get used to them and grow to love them (although a few times the pastor wasn’t missed as much). I think the best point in your story is the statement “we’re the church”. This is so true. So many times we sit back and expect the pastors to do the pastoring when that’s not at all what Jesus wanted us to do. We are called to minister just as much, if not more, in our daily lives. We are called to pray for the sick, feed the hungry, clothe the needy, visit the shut-ins and prisoners. We are ALL the hands of Jesus. I thank you for the reminder as I forget this calling on a daily basis…
    Prayers for Molly, her husband and children, her mom, dad, and family as they make this difficult transition…

    Reply
  2. Judy

    April 30, 2013 at 9:02 am

    Another beautifully written post about life within the church. Prayers for Molly and family as well as RezWest during the transition. As a 1/2 time pastor of a much smaller congregation, I also appreciate your awareness of expectations.

    Reply
  3. Gary Lee Parker

    April 30, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    I felt the pain, too. I felt the pain when I realized that both Molly and Ben were both pastoral ministers, yet I felt the pain deeply when Ben was not being fully recognized by Resurrection and the conference. I feel the pain when any person called to be pastor either is rejected or has to place their call on hold for whatever reason. Lord Jesus, you hear the pain and I wonder how long people in the church will not see called pastoral couples as a team, not separate entities.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Sidebar

Casual English Bible Website

Featured Book

Complete Guide to the Bible

Complete Guide to the Bible
Buy from Amazon
Buy from Books-A-Million
Buy from Christian Book Distributor
Buy from Google Play

Latest Posts

  • I do one thing better than God May 27, 2025
  • When our faith glitches May 5, 2025
  • Job is the right book for me now April 16, 2025

  • Home
  • About
  • Blog Features
  • Books
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

  • YouTube
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn

Copyright © 2025 · Stephen M. Miller · All Rights Reserved

Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use. To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
Reject AllAccept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT
%d