I’D RATHER PARAPHRASE the bizarre Bible book of Revelation instead of Paul’s letter to the Romans.
Romans is Christianity’s first systematic theology book. I prefer stories over abstract theological ideas. Even weird stories like we find in Revelation, the last book in the Bible.
But if I want to paraphrase the New Testament into casual English, for the Casual English Bible, I’ve got to include Romans. I’ve already paraphrased all the other letters of Paul. I pushed Romans to the back of the line so I could muscle up by working through everything else he wrote.
The Casual English Bible is a beta project, not yet edited or even carefully proofed. I know it’s odd to do it like this, but sometimes you feel like a nut.
Here’s my first draft of Romans 3, which is one of the most memorable chapters in the letter. It has famous lines like
“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (3:23 KJV).
See what you think. I’ll post the new paraphrase of Romans online once I finish all 16 chapters along with the leader’s guide and atlas.
Romans 3. How God treats a sinner
Doesn’t our sin make God look good?
3:1. So what’s the bonus of being a Jew? Why bother with that painful ritual of circumcision?
3:2. Let me tell you, there’s a lot to say for the Jewish people. For one, they’re the group of people God trusted with his message.
3:3. But what if some Jews reject God? Will that stop God, and turn him into a liar who can’t keep his promises?
3:4. No way. God tells the truth. It doesn’t matter if everyone else is a liar. The Bible says so: “You’ll win your case for justice in court. You’ll win because the words you speak are true.”
3:5. Here’s how some unbelievers might see it. They’d say that when we do something wrong, it shows that God is right, which is a good thing. So they’d ask why would God punish us for doing a good thing like that by sinning?
3:6. That’s no way to think. If that were true, how could God judge the world?
3:7. But some folks might keep on arguing that if their lie shows how truthful God is, why should they get condemned for lying?
3:8. Why not take it one step further? Some folks slander us by saying we do that. They say we teach that the more we sin, the better it makes God look. People who talk like that deserve what they get for it.
Sin’s the boss
3:9. So what about Jews? Are we better off than other people? Not a chance. Jews are controlled by sin, just like everyone else is.
3:10. The Bible puts it this way: “No one is good. No one.
3:11. No one understands. No one looks for God.
3:12. Everyone has gone off in some other direction. No one is doing anything good. No one. They’re good for nothing.
3:14. Their mouth is an arsenal of profanity and bitterness.
3:15. Their feet rush them to victims they can kill.
3:16. Wherever they go, they ruin lives and leave people suffering in misery.
3:17. They know nothing about peace.
3:18. They have no respect for God.”
3:19. We know this much. The Jewish law is a law for the Jews. This law was intended to show them that everyone is accountable to God and that no one can talk their way out of it.
3:20. But we know this, too. No one can have a good relationship with God simply by obeying the law. All the law does is show us what we’re doing wrong.
We’re all sinners
3:21. Now we know how to become a good-hearted person who pleases God. It’s not by following the laws that Moses gave us. In fact, those laws and the prophets confirm this.
3:22. God accepts people who put their faith in Jesus the Messiah. It doesn’t matter who those people are.
3:23. Everyone has sinned. Everyone falls short of the honorable standard God sets.
God gives us better than we deserve
3:24. Yet our relationship with God is good. That’s because of God’s kindness. Through Christ Jesus, we’ve been spared the punishment we deserve for our sins.
3:25. Our sins are a capital offense, but God sent Jesus to take our punishment. Jesus bled and died for the sins we committed. Forgiveness is available for everyone who puts their faith in Jesus.
3:26. God sent Jesus into our generation to remind us that he’s a fair judge. He forgives those of us who put their faith in Jesus.
3:27. So, what’s there to brag about? God’s approval isn’t about keeping the law. It’s about keeping the faith.
3:28. Listen, God accepts us just the way we are. It’s because of our faith, not because we obey the laws Moses gave us.
3:29. Is God the God of just the Jews. Isn’t he the God of everyone else, too? He sure is.
3:30. There’s just one God of everyone. He’s going to accept the circumcised Jews because of their faith. And he’s going to do the same for uncircumcised non-Jews because of their faith.
3:31. Do we retire the law by promoting faith? No way. Faith confirms what the law teaches.11]
 3:2. The writer of Genesis says God started drawing people to himself by selecting one man, Abraham, whose descendants became one nation, the Jewish people. Through the nation of Israel, God expected the world to become acquainted with him and with his expectations for citizens of his spiritual kingdom. In a sense, Jewish laws introduced the Jews to God and invited them to live their lives devoted to him. God told Abraham, “All the families on the planet will be better off because of you and your family. You are going to make this world a better place” (Genesis 12:3). God promised to do this through the Jewish people. New Testament writers claim that God fulfilled this promise by sending his Son, Jesus, born into a Jewish family.
 3:4. Paraphrase of Psalm 51:4.
 3:10-12. From Psalm 14:1-3.
 3:13. This phrase is from Psalm 5:9. It’s more literally, “Their throat is an open grave.” It’s unclear what Paul meant by that. But Jews became ritually unclean when they came into contact with the dead or with a grave. They weren’t allowed to worship at the Jerusalem Temple until they had gone through cleansing rituals. This included waiting seven days and taking ritual bathes on days three and seven (Numbers 19:11-13).
 3:13. From Psalm 140:3.
 3:17. From Isaiah 59:7-8.
 3:18. From Psalm 36:1.
 3:23. A more famous translation says “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (KJV). The “glory of God” could refer to the standard he sets for people who seek his approval and praise. But it could also refer to his presence, and the right to stand with him. The implication is that though he created humans, no one is fit to stand in his presence. Perhaps it’s much like John the Baptist once said of Jesus, “I’m not worthy to untie the straps on his sandals” (Luke 3:16).
 3:24. A more literal translation, heavy on abstract theological terms: “Justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus” (Mounce Reverse-Interlinear New Testament).
 3:25. Jewish law taught that sin was a capital offense that required blood to atone for the sin. In Old Testament times, animals were permitted as substitutes to atone for the sins of humans. Jewish law quotes God putting it this way, “Life is in the blood, and I have given you the blood of animals to sacrifice in place of your own” (Leviticus 17:11 CEV). New Testament writers present Jesus as the final sacrifice, ending the sacrificial system “once and for all time” (Hebrews 10:10 NCV).
 3:31. Some Bible experts say that Paul wasn’t teaching that Jews should stop observing the laws and traditions Moses gave them. Instead, he was saying that God, all along, had the rest of the world in mind, too. For Jews and everyone else, what matters most isn’t the law of the Jews. It’s the law of faith, which is what the Jewish laws were about as well—helping Jews learn to trust in God. Paul explores that further in Romans 4, when he reminds his readers that God approved of Abraham, the father of the Jews, not because Abraham obeyed the laws of Moses. Abraham lived several centuries before Moses. God accepted Abraham because of his faith.