I CAN’T TELL YOU what I said to someone yesterday. It would embarrass the person to which I said it.
But I’ll tell you this. After I spoke the words, it was like someone turned a light bulb on inside that person.
Huge beaming smile. Huge.
I was just stating a fact, not an opinion of any sort. But that fact apparently threw a switch, turned on the spotlight, and transfigured the person into a glowing soul who suddenly felt important and beloved. Which, of course, that person is.
The reaction caught me by surprise. I don’t see that kind of thing often enough. Perhaps because I don’t say that kind of thing often enough.
The kind of light I saw in the other person radiates. I got lit up too—by merely seeing the other person react to my words.
So I spent some time thinking about my words and about what God’s Word has to say about our words.
- Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Proverbs 16:24 - Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Ephesians 4:29 - The right word at the right time—beautiful!
Proverbs 17:23
For more about encouraging others
- Bushwhacking a friend with kind words
- Kind words for depressed souls
- What to do with a hurtful word
- “Kindness,” Complete Bible Handbook, page 156
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Paying compliments, being encouraging and supportive is all an art form. Your comments have to carry enough weight to be effective, but it is very easy to cross the line to be too effusive and appear phony and insincere.
Thanks Tom. You’re right. I think many of us know some of those over-the-top people pleasers. But I think we’ve learned to gauge their language. When they say something is good, they mean it’s crappy. When they say it’s great, they mean it’s so-so. When they faint at your feet, you can tell it’s pretty good. Or their blood sugar is low.