IT’S THE QUESTION OF THE WEEK.
It comes from Ilene Ashworth.
I’ll paraphrase the question, to shorten it.
Paul’s number one qualification for an elder or a deacon is that they be married. If the wife dies, can the husband remain an elder or a deacon?
That question surprised me. I didn’t realize people read Paul that way.
Paul assigned two of his associates, Timothy and Titus, the job of finding church leaders – Timothy in what is now Turkey and Titus on the island of Crete.
Writing letters to each of them, Paul gave them pretty much the same wish-list of character traits to look for in church leaders.
There’s one flaky phrase – tough to translate – that leads some to think he was insisting on married men only.
Paul said the church leaders should be: “the husband of one wife” (1 Timothy 3:2; Titus 1:6, KJV).
Not the husband of one dead wife.
Or the husband of a second wife.
Or the husband of no wife.
Here’s the biggest problem with the assumption that every Rev. Dude needed a Dudette.
Paul was Dudetteless. He liked it that way. He recommended it to others:
“It’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:8, NLT).
There’s no indication Timothy or Titus were married, either.
“The husband of one wife” is an old-fashioned, ill-informed way of translating the Greek phrase into today’s English. Consider these other, more modern Bible translations:
- “faithful to his wife,” (NLT)
- “He must have only one wife” (GWT)
- “married only once” (NRSV)
- “committed to his wife” (The Message)
- “faithful in marriage” (CEV)
Requiring pastoral candidates to produce a marriage certificate isn’t what Paul had in mind, most scholars agree. It wasn’t anything like the Party of the First Part demanding the birth certificate of the Party of the Second Part.
Paul simply presumed that most candidates for ministry would be hitched to somebody’s daughter. So when he created a checklist of the moral behavior he expected to see in candidates, he included “loyalty to the little lady.” My paraphrase.
Paul’s list pretty well shows what he was after: a few good men, married or not.
If married, not sleeping with the church secretary.
If not married, not sleeping with the church secretary.
Married or not, these church leaders must:
- have a good reputation
- be self-controlled, sensible, well-behaved
- be kind and gentle and not love money
So in answer to the question, yes widowers can still pastor a church.
So can single guys.
Ladies, too, as far as a great many Bible experts are concerned. Many Southern Baptists might disagree with that. But that’s a question for another week.
In some middle eastern countries,even today, men were allowed to have more than one wife. I think Paul was also saying you shouldn’t have a harem.
Since you touched on it at the end of the blog… Is there biblical backing for women ministers?
Erin, I’ve added that to my list of Questions of the Week.
Hmm…I always read those verses as indicating that if a man is to be given any counseling/spiritual authority over the body of Christ, they must be good spiritual leaders in their own homes first. I am Catholic and appreciate that the priests at my church are unmarried, living lives of simple humility. Their focus is on the church and the body of Christ, not on their homes, cars, wives, kids, clothes, vacations, etc. I appreciate this. It is difficult for me to tithe to an institution (being that I live below the poverty level) when part of my tithe might go to fund a pastor’s annual vacations, large home and keep his double-car garage well-stocked. just my humble opinion.
Hey, Erin. Sorry for the delay. Your post got caught in my spam filter. I just found it. And one other comment of yours. I released them both out into the wild.
Protestants have this thing about all ministers need to be married, despite Paul emphasizing singleness as preferred and Roman Catholics make their ministers take a vow of celibacy when Scripture makes it clear that not everyone has that gift. Personally, I think Paul is talking about polygamy not a status of marriage. Most churches want their clergy married and don’t care how many times they have been married – which I find more ridiculous than hiring a single pastor! I wanted to be a MInister and was discouraged because I was single.
I do agree with you how there’s nothing wrong with single people being pastors. I think it’s ridiculous how some churches won’t hire single people to be pastors. Single people not being hired as pastors is common in Presbyterian churches and Baptist churches, but Methodist churches, Lutheran churches, Non Denominational Christian churches, Catholic churches, and Unitarian Universalist churches tend to be more accepting of single pastors. There’s a lot of single pastors in Methodist churches, Lutheran churches, Non Denominational Christian churches, and Unitarian Universalist churches. Priests in Catholic churches have to be not married.
I do agree with you how when the Bible says that pastors need to be “the husband of one wife”, it’s not talking about being married; it’s talking about how pastors need to be people that don’t struggle with adultery, that aren’t players, that aren’t womanizers, etc. The Greek word for “husband of one wife” is “Mias gunaikos andra” which means one woman man, someone who isn’t a player, someone who isn’t a womanizer, someone who doesn’t struggle with adultery, etc. The reason why the phrase “husband of one wife” is used is because during that period, almost everyone was married, and it was very rare for not be married. Paul wrote it as “husband of one wife” due to assuming that they were married since it was very rare for someone during that time period to not being married; not because being married is a requirement for being a pastor.
The main reasons why some churches are discriminatory towards single people being pastors are misunderstanding the “husband of one wife” Bible verse, having this fear that a single person won’t be able to counsel married couples having marriage problems due to never being married, having this fear that a single person might be an adulterer, womanizer, player, rapist, child molester, etc due to the negative stereotypes associated with single pastors, and having this fear that a single person might commit a sexual sin since some people think single pastors are more likely to commit sexual sins than married pastors.
Pastors counsel people with all kinds of problems in addition to marriage problems. Pastors counsel people with lots of problems that they’ve experienced themselves and with lots of problems they haven’t experienced themselves. No pastor has life experience with every kind of situation. People can still be good at counseling people with problems they haven’t experienced themselves just like someone who’s never been overweight can still be a good weight loss coach, someone who doesn’t have a disability can still be a good Special Education teacher, etc. Not hiring a single person to be a pastor due to having this fear they might be a womanizer, sexual predator, etc due to the negative stereotypes associated with single pastors is the equivalence of not hiring someone because of their race due to the negative stereotypes associated with their race. The Bible talks about how prejudice, racism, etc are sins. The main reason why some pastors end up committing sexual sins isn’t their marital status; it’s not having reasonable safeguards to help prevent themselves from committing sexual sins. When single pastors and married pastors have reasonable safeguards to help prevent themselves from committing sexual sins, it significantly decreases the likelihood that they’ll commit a sexual sin.
Churches shouldn’t care whether the pastor is single or married. Pastors should be judged by how spiritually mature they are, the content of their character, how good of a role model they are, how well they can teach the Bible to people, and how well they can lead a church.
This is why there has to be a happy balance between the Catholic practice and too often the the Protestant practice where a pastor may be single or married according to their calling. My greatest example of a single pastor was Reverend Alvin Lawhead, a children’s camp counselor for me in the Upstate New York District Church of the Nazarene, who completed his career as a Professor of Old Testament at Nazarene Theological Seminary.
Personally, I have felt this discrimination too often in my life especially as a single father of a son who is differently able. I must live a lifestyle of forgiveness of all the people who have hurt me. I forgive, help me Lord to forgive as you forgive fully.
Married with at least two children is a written requirement in the uneducated Baptist churches of the deep south, which covers 90% of them. I have actually been told by church leaders that Paul, Timothy, and Jesus himself would not be allowed to stand at the pulpit. Personally, I don’t think it has anything to do with misinterpreting a passage of scripture. Instead, they hate all singles. If you’re over 30-40, you must be married to be accepted in any church today.
Discrimination against single pastors is very common in Baptist churches. Most Baptist churches and most Presbyterian churches tend to be discriminatory towards single pastors, but Methodist churches, Lutheran churches, Non Denominational Christian churches, Catholic churches, and Unitarian Universalist churches tend to be more accepting of single pastors. There’s lots of single pastors in Methodist churches, Lutheran churches, Non Denominational Christian churches, etc.
Many Baptist churches prefer married pastors with more than one kid due to taking the Bible verse in 1 Timothy 3 about pastors being required to manage their household well too literally. When the Bible says pastors need to manage their household well, it’s not saying pastors are required to have kids, and it’s not saying that pastors have to have a proven ability of being a good parent in order to be a pastor; it’s saying how pastors are required to be good parents if they have kids since being a bad parent damages a person’s role model status in regards to leading a church. Pastors aren’t required to have kids, but they are required to be good parents if they have kids. It’s written in 1 Timothy 3 as “must manage their household well” because Paul is assuming that they’re married and have kids since during that time period, it was very rare for someone to not be married, it was very rare for people to not have kids during that time period, and it was very rare for people to have only one child during that time period.