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Painting/photo of Jerusalem Temple-Casual English Bible

Skip this Bible verse for the wedding

Stephen M. Miller
unhappy bride
HOW TO MAKE A BRIDZILLA. Some parts of the Bible are uncomfortable to hear read aloud in public, especially under certain conditions. This is one such verse on just such occasion. Photo by Rikard Elofsson / flickr.

IT’S CRUNCH TIME. My only daughter’s wedding takes place in a month.

I get to do lots of stuff at the wedding, like

  • walk her down the aisle
  • entrust her to the care of my future son-in-law
  • welcome guests to the wedding reception
  • dance with my daughter
  • toast the couple.

What I don’t get to do is read the Bible aloud at the wedding. That honor goes to a few other folks: the pastor, my daughter’s future sister-in-law, and a long-time family friend.

The family friend, a good buddy of mine, told me what passage he selected.

I passed it on to my daughter.

She freaked.

Here’s my own rendition of the passage. See if you can tell at what point my daughter hit the “Holy moley” button.

The LORD God said, “The man is alone. Not good. I’ll make a companion for him, to be his partner.”

But first, the LORD God made all the animals and birds from the dust of the ground. He brought them to the man for naming. The man named each one, and the names stuck.

The man named the cattle, the birds, and every other animal that lived. But for him, there was no companion.

The LORD God put the man into a deep sleep, removed one of the man’s ribs, and then closed the wound.

The LORD God made a woman from the rib. Then he presented the woman to the man.

“At last,” the man said. “These bones came from my bones. This flesh came from my flesh. I’m going to call her Woman became she came from Man.

That’s why a man leaves his parents for a woman. The man and woman become part of each other—two people, yet one.

The Man and the Woman were naked, and not the least bit ashamed about it.
—Genesis 2:18-25, Steve’s Bible Translation

I’m pretty sure you guessed correctly.

That final verse in this particular setting might cause a panic attack beyond the palliative range of known medication with calming properties this side of rendering a person babblingly incoherent.

For this reason, our friend will stop reading one verse shy of the chapter’s end.

That’s why God made friends.

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About Stephen M. Miller

STEPHEN M. MILLER is an award winning bestselling Christian author of easy-reading books about the Bible and Christianity and author of the Casual English Bible® paraphrase. His books have sold over two million copies and include The Complete Guide to the Bible and Who’s and Where’s Where in the Bible.

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