Theology of Sheriff Andy Taylor

IT SHOULDN’T HAVE SURPRISED ME, but it did. Of all the blog articles I’ve written, the one most often repinned on the social media site Pinterest is The theology of Deputy Barney Fife.

I wrote that thing on a whim after a random thought left me wondering what I would think of Jesus’s famous Sermon on the Mount if he had a mouse-squealer of a voice like Barney Fife.

For the sake of Pinterest fans who might be interested in how Sheriff Andy Taylor might react or relate to selected Bible passages, here are a few matches that come to mind.

James 3:16, Whenever you’re trying to look better than others…things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.

• Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well Gomer, Barney’s been bitten by the green-eyed monster.

Genesis 39:7, Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. “Come and sleep with me,” she demanded.

• Sheriff Andy Taylor: Well, would it kill the whim if I just take a shower and put on some clean socks and underwear?

Matthew 26:52, “Put away your sword,” Jesus told him. “Those who use the sword will die by the sword.”

• Sheriff Andy Taylor: When a man carries a gun all the time, the respect he thinks he’s gettin’ might really be fear. So I don’t carry a gun because I don’t want the people of Mayberry to fear a gun. I’d rather they would respect me.

Song of Songs 1:12-13, When my King-Lover lay down beside me, my fragrance filled the room. His head resting between my breasts—the head of my lover was a sachet of sweet myrrh.

• Sheriff Andy Taylor: Nature’s been good to you. I mean real, real, real good. I can’t remember when I’ve seen nature spend as much time on one person.

Luke 16:10, If you’re not honest in small jobs,
who will put you in charge of the store?

• Sheriff Andy Taylor [singing to tune of Clementine]: …Oh my Barney
  Oh my Barney
  had a jail but couldn’t lock it
  had one bullet for his pistol
  had to keep it in his pocket.

Random book winner this week

Larry Anderson.

I give away one free book a week to a randomly selected subscriber to my free blog and quarterly newsletter.

Larry is random this week. He chose Strange and Mysterious Stuff from the Bible.

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