I’M NEGOTIATING A CONTRACT for a new book. And by “I’m” I mean my agent.
I don’t know if you’ve heard that most writers don’t make much money. But if you haven’t, they don’t.
I have sold well over 1 million books. Most of my books sell for between $10 and $20 each. You might think I would’ve made at least a million bucks from that.
Think the heck again.
My agent keeps telling me he doesn’t know how publishers make a profit selling the lavishly, full-color books I usually write. Production costs are intense.
They better be.
Otherwise, I’d be fairly ticked at sometimes getting anywhere from 20 to 60 cents royalty for each book that sells for $10 to $20.
I’d like to think that the people getting the rest of the money are spreading it around nicely among deserving souls such as editors, designers, marketers, warehouse workers, Christian bookstore associates, and exceedingly polite receptionists with candy on the counter. Good candy, like Snickers.
In negotiating, my agent asks for stuff he knows I want. And for stuff he knows I should want, but don’t know squat about.
From time to time we ask for a little financial help with this or that.
We almost never get it.
So I wrote my agent an email about it one day.
Just a short email:
“Why is it that nobody wants to give me a lot of money?
I certainly want them to.”
After I sent that email – to which he replied “Too funny!” – I had a thought.
Maybe I should put a donation button on my website in the event that someday, somehow someone will want to give me a lot of money.
As hopeful and as optimistic as I am, I am neither that hopeful nor that optimistic.
And if I were, there’s Despondex, a medication for the annoyingly cheerful.
Brainstorm. I just had a better thought.
I could put a button up there that reads “Treats for Buddy the Dog.”
Wow.
Bow-wow. That could work.
Marketers love buttons like that. They say every webpage should have a “call to action.”
Who wouldn’t want to give Buddy a treat?
Love it, Steve. I chuckled throughout as I can relate. And to make it funnier, I posted on my blog about an angry – and clueless – woman who told me that I wanted to write a book [nonfiction] about the Amish “just to make money.”
I like the “buy treats for Buddy” idea! Lol. Sounds like you better start playing the lottery, Steve! Maybe your chances will be better. On the serious side, it is ridiculous that that is all you make on each book. Something wrong with that system!
Make an agreement with your denomination to use your books as teaching tools — Bible 101 – they make great Fundementals of the Bible classes. For each book sold you get a royalty and the denomination gets a contribution. I know of one famous Pastor who makes over a million dollars a week in royalties just for his tape ministry alone — he donates the money back into the ministry.
“Think the heck again” I will be laughing at this line all day!
You need to write a Buddy book and start a Buddy Foundation, and watch the dollars begin to pour in!
Thanks everyone. I’m off on a weekend retreat with my Bible study group, so please forgive me for not replying to each of you individually. I do appreciate your thoughts and your encouragement.