IT’S THE TRUTH, far as I can tell.
It didn’t happen to me. It happened to my daughter on Wednesday.
She drives a white Toyota Camry.
She told the world what happened. She posted it on Facebook at about four in the afternoon.
I’ll have you know I was driving to work and thought it started raining. Then I noticed a horrible smell. Then I noticed that it was in fact not raining but a cow peeing out of the side of a semi…onto my windshield. Awesome.
There are adjectives other than “awesome” that come to mind.
And a contextually related noun.
Also some verbs—hyphenated, not so much to follow rules of grammar as to emphasize a mid-syllable pause of astonishment.
On Fridays, I often try to post what I think of as a Fun Friday Fact related somehow to the Bible.
This is a stretch.
The fun fact this week is that a cow peed on my daughter’s white Camry.
How to tie this to the Bible, that’s the dilemma.
God did put a curse on men who “pisseth against the wall,” (1 Kings 21:21).
But that wasn’t so much about pissething as it was about pointing out the males in the family. Modern Bible translations put it this way: “You and every man and boy in your family will die,” (CEV).
I’m fairly familiar with the Bible, having written about it for most of my career. But I can’t seem to find any pertinent Bible passages for my daughter’s consideration.
I’ll give you what little I came up with. If you can find any others, add them in a comment box.
- “Rain is on the way; I hear it coming” (1 Kings 18:41).
- “Let the cows go wherever they want” (1 Samuel 6:8).
- “God said, ‘Let the waters beneath the sky flow together into one….’ And that is what happened” (Genesis 1:9).
- “God has dumped the whole works on me. Donkeys bray and cows moo…so don’t expect me to keep quiet in this. Do you see what God has dished out for me? It’s enough to turn anyone’s stomach!” (Job 6:5-7).
- “What you give is what you get” (Galatians 6:7).
- “Your eyes will see strange sights, and your mouth will say embarrassing things” (Proverbs 23:33). Sign of the end times, some would add. The cow, most certainly, is a Beast.
- “I’m drawing up a map to Righteous Road….Don’t take Wicked Bypass” (Proverbs 4:14).
Free review books
As a means of apologizing, I have some free review books.
One in Spanish: La Guia Completa de Profecias Biblicas.
One in English: 100 Tough Questions About God and the Bible.
If you haven’t gotten a free book from me before, and you’d like one of these, send me an email with the title of the book you’d like. I’ll give away several of each.
Peace to you. And one word of advice.
If you find yourself driving alongside a cattle truck, roll up your windows and whisper a prayer:
“Thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety” (Psalm 4:8).
If you can’t get the windows up in time, there is always this prayer:
“Save me, God! I am about to drown” (Psalm 69:1).