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Painting/photo of Jerusalem Temple-Casual English Bible

Bible verses that make me smile

Stephen M. Miller
Painting of Mona Lisa
GO AHEAD, SMILE. Some Bible verses are funny. Uncomfortably funny. Oddly funny. Surprisingly funny. One way or another, they strike us funny. And they just might get us to thinking. Painting by Leonardo da Vinci.

JUST FOR FUN, I’m going to pitch you some Bible verses that make me smile.

Sometimes it’s the message. Sometimes the delivery. On occasion, it’s both – the double dip.

In my spare time, I paraphrase the Bible. It’s a Bible-study technique I’m experimenting with. It’s really fun. I absolutely enjoy it.

I work one verse at a time, usually. I start by reading the verse in a bunch of Bible translations. Then I read some notes about the verse. By then, I’ve got the message in my head. It’s just a matter of getting it out.

I deliver the message in my own words. It’s the voice I use when I write, and the voice I use when I talk – they are pretty much the same.

Here are some of the verses I paraphrased that make me smile. For various reasons.

Buckle up.

“Ishmael will be a wild child. He’ll grow up to be like a stubborn jackass that won’t budge for anyone unless he wants to. He’ll get on the bad side of everyone, and everyone will get on the bad side of him. That includes his relatives.”
Genesis 16:12, Steve’s Bible Translation; see also NRSV

My gut reaction: I understand. I have a relative like that, though I would never call that person a jackass. I would think it.

If you build a fire in your pants, what makes you think you won’t get burned?
Proverbs 6:27, Steve’s Bible Translation; see also NLT

My gut reaction: May God help guys everywhere to keep the matches at home.

A soft-spoken answer can defuse an explosive soul,
But a loudmouth will push their button.
Proverbs 15:1, Steve’s Bible Translation; see also NLT

My gut reaction: Now you tell me.

“If someone doesn’t want you around them, leave. Shake the dirt off your feet or whatever it takes to let them know you’re happy to give them their space and the dirt that comes with it.”
Matthew 10:14, Steve’s Bible Translation; see also the Voice

My gut reaction: Nice counterpoint to “Turn the other cheek.” Watch these cheeks walk out the door.

“Lord, don’t do that,” Martha says. “He’s been dead four days. He’s going to stink to high heaven.”
John 11:39, Steve’s Bible Translation; see also NLT

My gut reaction: Why would anyone name their daughter Martha?

Smiling yet? Come on, it’s Friday.

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About Stephen M. Miller

STEPHEN M. MILLER is an award winning bestselling Christian author of easy-reading books about the Bible and Christianity and author of the Casual English Bible® paraphrase. His books have sold over two million copies and include The Complete Guide to the Bible and Who’s and Where’s Where in the Bible.

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Comments

  1. Dianne

    September 12, 2014 at 11:58 am

    Thank you, I put verses in my own words too, I have two friends who do not like it, and one lady in my “biker” women’s study group has said it helps her to understand! As long as it means the same thing, I think it’s OK. Yes I did smile

    Reply
  2. Stephen K Miller

    September 13, 2014 at 6:59 am

    Good to see there’s another Stephen Miller that loves the Lord!! I’m thinking there’s more than a few of us. I haven’t read any of your books yet but I’m looking forward to getting your newsletter! GBGF (God Bless and God First).
    PS.You gave me a new perspective on some scripture!

    Reply

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